The snow is back! So I changed the theme back to our old winter theme. When the snow leaves, the site will go back to normal.
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im gonna write an actual life update post bc i mcfreakin hate my life
im still really alone. ex-best friend has decided to take all of my other friends from me and for some reason they’re going with her even though they’ve literally told me they know she’s in the wrong and i’m in the right, just because she is so manipulative and makes everyone so worried about her (i say this from experience of having been the #1 person manipulated by her) that they can’t leave her alone bc they’d feel really guilty for…. letting her leave when she wants to. so instead she leaves and everyone leaves with her and i’m alone and she’s smug and tells me she’s being reasonable and not hurting anybody bc she’s forming a “new group of friends” instead of kicking me out of my own group of friends that i… brought her to
other, new best friend i guess, that i made out with once and i have a thing going now. that’s nice. i love him a lot and he’s making it all a lot easier for me. the only thing is, he got out of a multi-year relationship 2.5 months ago (though his ex-girlfriend had been ignoring him and treating him terribly for about a month before officially breaking up with him and they hadn’t really communicated much for months before that) but anyway all of that leads to the fact that he’s scared of a relationship right now and also again i stg this is really really personal stuff for me to be posting publicly on the internet and i’m only doing it because the only people who will ever see this who know him are me and jenny so please jenny don’t you dare talk to anyone about any of this.
my school grades are terrible so there’s that
i’m moving in less than two weeks
my parents just don’t stop hurting me
it’s all really bad basically
i mcfreaking hate myself
how is everyone?
The best advice I can offer. If you aren’t American and still want to help, please make some donations (if you can afford it). The ACLU and the NRDC or Earth Justice are the things that are most likely to affect you outside of the US- the first is an organization of free lawyers working for the rights of individuals and groups whose constitutional rights are being hurt by the US government (including non-US citizens/residence; as a whole, they are the closest thing we have to a private non-profit that will go and stop a Trump dictatorship) and the latter two being environmental advocacy organizations, because a Trump presidency is predicted to have a terrible and irreversible effect on the environment.
I am so so so sorry guys. I am so sorry.
well.,., good luck to all of you american folks
hi guys i guess i should do a brief update on my life. (lol, these updates seem to be the only things i make posts about…)
i’ve been trying to go back to being my old self because recently i feel like i’ve transformed into someone who has been on social media such as facebook messenger, instagram, pinterest, etc. too much and i need to stop. i remember when i would despise smart phones because they would “kill my fingers” and it makes me feel bad about myself after having been scrolling through social media for a few hours. i want to go back to the days when i didn’t have a smartphone or as much social media and actually r e a d books…it’s also sad because i haven’t read vigorously as of late…any suggestions? should i delete some of my social media accounts? what to dooo
trying to keep my gpa up in school because i guess colleges like to see improvement…? i think my freshman gpa was ok but my sophomore gpa went down and now my junior gpa is ok again SO FAR. i really hope that i will be able to keep it that way…
i got into the school’s musical, little shop of horrors. i’m an ensemble role, which is what i wanted because it’s my first time being in one of my school’s productions and i feel like anything bigger than ensemble would be quite scary…first rehearsal is tomorrow; i’m excited. oh idk if i told you guys (except lemon) but i work at panera now which is very cool because money. lol. and the food is good. but i probably will have to take a break until the musical is over because that will take up a lot of my time. (another reason why i only wanted to be in ensemble is because hopefully??? it will take up less of my time?)
another thing about school: i do not know what “reach” schools i want to apply to. to be honest, i have kinda given up on thinking about going to really high end schools because i know that i won’t get in??? so far i’m thinking about applying to uw madison, elon university, university of minnesota, and idk, maybe some school in chicago. idk yet. i just wonder what schools i should apply to that are considered “reach” because all my other friends want to apply to really good colleges such as u chicago, uc berkeley, and the like. perhaps i should apply to nyu? any suggestions? lol this has kinda turned into a “jenny’s random thoughts” and “help jenny not suffer” update…
i hope you all are doing swell.
Voted for the first time today!
Anxiously watching the results trickle in.
October in LA has been pretty hot. Our weather is also very finicky in the way that the hottest day of one week will have a high of 95, and the coldest will have a high of 77 or something.
Now, it’s what many in California consider wintery weather. It’s the start of eggnog season, and Seth and I bought our first carton of pumpkin spice eggnog for the year. And yesterday we stopped by a couple stores that had Chirstmasy stuff already. Because it feels like Christmas now.
And, y’know. Of course, feels like Christmas means it’s 65 degrees right now and it’s a bit overcast.
It feels really nice, nevertheless, because I think a lot of people in SoCal are used to the weather being pretty stagnant. If you’re not used to it, you might not tell much of a difference between summer and winter. The changes are subtle, but seeing the changing of the seasons in my new home feels special and beautiful. Even if it is just a bit cloudy.
How’s everyone doing?
an update on my life:
(some of these things i haven’t discussed with a single soul so jenny please don’t, my life is terrible right now already)
my technical best friend of two years, who has been the very definition of codependency for nearly all that time, and can’t stand anything but compliments, decided that she hates me and nearly all of my other friends after i got angry at her for cancelling plans with us and not telling me (effectively standing me up), and has cut me out of her life completely. this is a person whose every problem i’ve heard and tried to help with, down to the very very minuscule and personal, for two years, who’s broken down crying at the concept of ever living in a different town than me, who i’ve gotten through much worse fights with.
this is honestly destroying me so much, and from such a small and irrelevant catalyst. and the truth is that i’m not capable of dealing with it right now.
i’m managing my homework a little bit better- got 91% on my physics midterm, when the curve for an A in the class has historically been at around 80%. i have a B in ap chem and we had a two week extra credit problem that would’ve brought my grade to an A that’s due tomorrow morning (well, today morning- it’s 1:30am) and i’m not sleeping anyway because of extreme depression unlike anything i’ve felt in years but i can’t bring myself to do it.
i’ve been majorly disassociating during every day moments and Continuing To Do Stuff, usually in accordance with my impulses rather than the conscious decisions i rely on when i am in control. the other day i suddenly found myself kissing someone (detail erased so jenny doesn’t share this; don’t you dare share this with anyone and ask to speculate who okay) who i’ve had back and forth feelings for but who i knew it wasn’t a good idea to act on the feelings for for reasons (again detail erased; don’t you dare jenny) and they got really into it and it was good but?????? super scary that i decided Not to Do That and then suddenly lost control and did it without being aware?
and then, i got braces. what a wonderful teen sitcom. my mouth hurts like hell now, i can’t close my teeth (so i can’t chew, at all, and won’t be able to for the Entire Time i have braces) so now i’m hungry all the time and in physical pain in addition to all the rest of this beautiful feelings cocktail🙂
no im not procrastinating on calculus at 10:45 at night shh
So I have an ask blog now, and you all should ask stuff so my characters have things to respond to! :3 Drawing is like the only pastime I have time for these days since I can do it whenever I’m sitting and not actively doing homework and taking notes (i.e. during class, club meetings, on the bus, etc.). And I really enjoy answering all sorts of questions, so I hope you guys come up with some cool ideas! ^^
Link: >>> askthelopcrew.tumblr.com
As for other stuff, semi-dead today. Apparently I have allergies here really badly when I barely had them in Cali. -.- And I finally got home around 10 from my last club (worth it though; it’s D&D ^-^) and still have a homework assignment to do. And I’m supposed to take a shower tonight. ._. See this is why I have failed at my goal of becoming a morning person in college. That and the fact that my significant other is too adorable and interesting and *far* too awake until 4 in the morning every night and it’s like the only time I have to Skype him. >-> At least I never have to wake up as early as I did in high school. In retrospect, I can’t believe I survived being an upperclassman (upperclasswoman? Whatevs).
Heyyy, random thought: any Undertale fans here by any chance?