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  • Agent SD 3:35 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply  

    Post Prompt 1/19/17: Did you make a New Year’s resolution? If not, do you have any goals or things you would like to improve on this year?

    I’ve been trying to drink more water. I’m also trying to work on ways to be kinder to myself–especially after finals. Oh man. I don’t know why–all of my finals ended up being fine, but I ended up turning into this raging ball of stress and self-doubt and self-loathing. I’m gonna try to make sure that doesn’t happen again. In general I think I need to learn how to take more breaks. A weird thing I realized was that, at a certain point of studying, you know everything you’re going to know. The questions I miss on tests are always the questions that weren’t on the study guide. There’s no way of anticipating everything. Basically there comes a time where the extra studying isn’t making you learn the thing MORE, you’re just driving yourself crazy. And for a lot of classes, there’s always going to be something on the test that you don’t know, and all the studying in the world isn’t going to make you anticipate it. And no matter what I did, even though I was acing all of my tests, by the time the next one came around I would still panic and worry that I wasn’t doing enough. I want to figure out a less intense study schedule, know when I’m doing enough, probably do quite a bit more, and pause to breathe and eat cheese or whatever.

    This was kind of a mess. I figured I’d post today because I’m not really doing anything. Dread over tomorrow finally hit me. I’m trying to pull myself out of the dread abyss. Gonna look at cats.

    • lem 3:50 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Hi! I just finished my finals and I feel the same way. I got 30% on my Physics one which brought my grade down from an A to an AB but who cares. I pulled an A in AP Chem through sweat tears and death!!!!!! I feel you about dread about tomorrow. I’m trying not to feel it.

      • Agent SD 4:21 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I’m proud of you!!!

        Sitting in a dark room. Avoiding Twitter at all costs.

        • lem 4:33 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          Yes. I don’t even want to think about it. I considered calling Ron Johnson (WI Republican Senator) to tell him to vote against some of Trump’s cabinet, but… it really doesn’t make a difference anyway

          • Agent SD 4:35 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

            Apparently a lot of people have been calling nationwide, which is good I guess. I dunno man.

            • lem 4:38 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

              Yes, but is there any world in which Trump’s cabinet isn’t horrible? No.

              • Agent SD 4:41 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

                True. I love the Trump supporters who are surprised. What did they expect?

  • Agent Snowbell 8:57 pm on January 18, 2017 Permalink | Reply  

    Post Prompt 1/18/17 (I want to keep this thing rolling): What did you do last weekend? :-,

    I (as many of us) had MLK day off. Friday I went ice skating, as is my custom, and started Six of Crows; Saturday I went shopping, got groceries and used my Hot Topic coupon, went home and Skyped into D&D with my California group (also per custom), and read more Six of Crows; Sunday I finished Six of Crows and spent most of the remaining day looking up fanart and peppering Mav (the one who got me the book) with analytical texts about it; Monday I actually did some work and stuff.

    …Six of Crows was good. Anyone else read it?

    • Agent SD 3:09 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      I binge watched all of A Series of Unfortunate Events on Netflix. Amazing show. Then I went to Santa Monica on Sunday for the first YALLWEST meeting; walked around downtown/the beach afterward. I spent Monday ordering all of my books and signing up for volunteer events on campus. It was actually a really nice weekend, overall.

      I haven’t read Six of Crows yet, but I’ve heard great things!

  • Agent SD 8:46 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply  

    Post Prompt 1/17/17: What are you looking forward to this year?

    I’m excited for:
    Bad News!
    The third Despicable Me movie
    Pixar’s movie Coco
    Cautiously optimistic for the new Pirates of the Caribbean
    Finishing my GE’s and lower division English classes, and then finally taking all upper division English classes next semester!
    The book festival YALLWEST!

    I might add more later. Trying to stay positive before the inauguration is getting kind of hard.

    • Agent Snowbell 11:44 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply


      ~Bad News also! It just shiiipped 😀
      ~Wearing my new cloak to class tomorrow maybe! I got it tonight. (It’s a fahncy custom-made one.)
      ~Physics next quarter! ^^
      ~Reading Crooked Kingdom! Started and finished Six of Crows over MLK weekend, and it surpassed all my expectations. Since Mav reads slower than me, though, I’ve promised to give him a head start and wait on the sequel until February.
      ~Road trip this summer! My family is heading to the Midwest to have a family reunion/funeral for my great-grandmother, and I haven’t been since I was five. Should be fun, but very hot. (Unfortunately, it overlapped with Mav’s trip to see *his* family, which he was going to try and take me on, but this is really important so I won’t complain.)
      ~Mav maybe going to college in the same state as me starting in September! *crosses fingers*
      ~Potential ice skating lessons?
      ~More news on HTTYD3, hopefully, although not the release.
      ~A new Undertale comic by Lynxgriffin, who is a cartooning and comic-scripting genius. Her last one, Dogs of Future Past, is 10/10 (although hardcore Undertale fans will get the most out of it).
      ~If I’m being optimistic, maybe more snow! Although January here seems to be warmer than December FSR? \:-/
      ~Just in general having more college fun times, seeing more deer, doing math, arting, and various other things! :3

      I highly approve of this prompt. It is pretty easy to get weighed down by all the *not*-great stuff going on around the world instead of focusing on the positives and being productive.

      • Agent Snowbell 11:47 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        *Edit: Bad *Luck* just shipped. I got the titles backwards. Excited for both, of course.

    • lem 4:31 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Excited for:
      Season 2 of Master of None (Aziz Ansari’s Sitcom)
      Astronomy Research Camp, if I get accepted
      This Alaska kayaking science expedition I applied for, if I get accepted
      Lush, if I’m hired (been applying to a lot of things recently)
      Very little else tbh this year promises to be pretty bad
      Applying to college I guess?lol

      • Agent SD 4:36 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Ooooh more of Master of None is happening? Sweet.


        • lem 4:45 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          maybe… im also considering toronto, which is the opposite of close to you, but also far from this country so…

  • deartomysoul 11:22 am on January 16, 2017 Permalink | Reply  

    Post Prompt 01/16/17: What’s your stress level?/How are final exams/what do they look like?

    I am nervous about the AP bio final exam because that is the only class where I am clinging on to a B. And I may or may not have skipped (okay, not skipped because it was an excused absence) the last day of AP bio class before exams tomorrow and I may or may not have not taken my quiz yet so I still have to do that…And I gotta do the research essay for extra credit points because, like I said, I’m desperate to maintain that B…Gosh, why does science hate me???

    But other than that, and reviewing some math concepts, I think I’m okay with my final exams/stress levels.

    • Lily 12:26 pm on January 16, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Well, I currently have no finals yet.
      BUT I still have fairly high stress levels, and a lot of deadlines to meet, so there’s that.
      And good luck! But you’l be fine.
      Also this is a really good idea. We should all take turns.

    • Agent Snowbell 12:23 am on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Exams were fine, a month ago. 😄 Well, thought one was on the wrong date so didn’t study (major derp – I give myself a pardon because I’m always a major derp when coming down with a cold), but it was my lowest quiz score for the class so didn’t end up counting. The other three were good – Geology was death, but only the lab part, and I did end up getting a decent A on the final project, but most importantly, it’s over.

      Current stress level is fine here. College so far has been a breeze compared to high school, academically. (*Academically.*) One tough class this semester with somewhere around 40 pages of dense analytical essays to read every two days or so, but the class and its discussions are fun, so worth it.

      Really, everything would be fantastic at the moment if (I am open about this because I’m pretty sure most if not all of us have dealt with this) really bad period cramps weren’t keeping me from my necessary quantity of sleep to be a human being tomorrow – er, today. >_> I really can’t complain – most of my female friends and my sister have it way worse than I do – but sometimes I still fantasize about having a hysterectomy.

      • Agent SD 8:26 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        I just like college a lot more in general, so far. I think it’s mostly because even the more difficult classes feel more meaningful.

        I feel you on the period cramps right now. I’ve spent the past few hours lying in bed being pathetic. I’ve seriously thought about having a hysterectomy since I don’t want children anyways, but I’m also kind of terrified of surgery.

        • lem 4:28 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          Are we like… all synchronized bc that’s crazy bc guess who else is in pain

    • Agent SD 8:22 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      My stress level is at zero. Finals are done for me, just getting ready to go back to school next week. I’m pretty grateful for the start of a new semester, honestly. I was able to relax over the break, but I’m getting kind of sick of being at home all the time.

      • Agent Snowbell 10:29 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

        Yep! You know, everyone warns seniors about being homesick, but if I could move… let’s see… five other people up here to the county I’m in (even the state), I’d be perfectly content staying here year-round, and maybe going to Cali to see extended family two or three times a year. Being at my parents’ house is fine, but there isn’t much to do and the weather is horrid. >_> Everyone really likes it when I go back, though, and I do miss my parents and “posse” (significant other, best friend, and sister) a lot, so occasional visits are nice. And it is relaxing, usually, slightly more so than being in school.

        • Agent SD 3:13 pm on January 19, 2017 Permalink | Reply

          Yeah, that’s me too (although I’m not too far from my loved ones). I don’t miss where I come from at all. LA is very much my home. But I have a couple friends I’m missing desperately right now.

    • Agent SD 8:22 pm on January 17, 2017 Permalink | Reply

      Good luck on your bio final!

  • deartomysoul 4:15 am on December 31, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

    Should we do some sort of posting game to keep his site active? I don’t know; I feel like something has to be done.

  • Agent SD 9:49 pm on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

    The snow is back! So I changed the theme back to our old winter theme. When the snow leaves, the site will go back to normal. :mrgreen:

  • lem 11:41 am on December 3, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

    im gonna write an actual life update post bc i mcfreakin hate my life

    im still really alone. ex-best friend has decided to take all of my other friends from me and for some reason they’re going with her even though they’ve literally told me they know she’s in the wrong and i’m in the right, just because she is so manipulative and makes everyone so worried about her (i say this from experience of having been the #1 person manipulated by her) that they can’t leave her alone bc they’d feel really guilty for…. letting her leave when she wants to. so instead she leaves and everyone leaves with her and i’m alone and she’s smug and tells me she’s being reasonable and not hurting anybody bc she’s forming a “new group of friends” instead of kicking me out of my own group of friends that i… brought her to

    other, new best friend i guess, that i made out with once and i have a thing going now. that’s nice. i love him a lot and he’s making it all a lot easier for me. the only thing is, he got out of a multi-year relationship 2.5 months ago (though his ex-girlfriend had been ignoring him and treating him terribly for about a month before officially breaking up with him and they hadn’t really communicated much for months before that) but anyway all of that leads to the fact that he’s scared of a relationship right now and also again i stg this is really really personal stuff for me to be posting publicly on the internet and i’m only doing it because the only people who will ever see this who know him are me and jenny so please jenny don’t you dare talk to anyone about any of this.

    my school grades are terrible so there’s that

    i’m moving in less than two weeks

    my parents just don’t stop hurting me

    it’s all really bad basically
    i mcfreaking hate myself


    • Agent SD 9:55 pm on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Lem *hugs* I’m sorry. I honestly can’t believe what happened with your ex-best friend. Teenagers suck. You’re not in the wrong. It’s clear you’re not in the wrong. I’m really really sorry.

      I’m really happy it’s going so well with you-know-who! That’s so great. Took you guys long enough. :p Seriously though, congratulations.

      I’m so proud of you for powering through. I’m so sorry this is such a horrible point in your life. I believe in you, and I know if you keep going–even if it feels like you aren’t doing this well, I swear you are–it will be different once you’re out of there. I don’t want to say “it gets better,” because that’s annoying and I always hated it when people told me that. But there’s this whole life waiting for you after these next couple years. And it’s not like this. I promise.

      Love you always ❤

      • Agent SD 9:57 pm on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Also dude, do you still have skype access? I’d love to catch up soon! Finals week might be crazy but after the 16th I won’t have a life x3 when do you get out of school?

        • lem 3:18 pm on December 6, 2016 Permalink | Reply

          22nd. also, just fyi, the guy is not who you think. we’ll talk about it. and yes, i do have skype, though my parents took away my wifi so im not really sure when i can video call you bc i can only use my laptop in one place so no privacy?

    • deartomysoul 9:52 am on December 22, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      boiii I won’t tell anyone but I have been talking to friends before and they are saying that ex best friend was in the right…I mean not totally right because it was kind of bogus but I really don’t think it’s worth breaking up a friendship for…I could go into more details but I don’t think I’ll do that here. 😄

  • deartomysoul 3:12 pm on November 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

    how is everyone?

    • deartomysoul 3:13 pm on November 30, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      like, truthfully.

    • lem 2:37 pm on December 1, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Have Cs in Chem and English. Got a 100% on my Physics midterm though. Still in mourning about election results. Hoping beyond hope the recount changes things.

      • deartomysoul 2:33 pm on December 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I wish you luck on your chem and English. And yay for physics! I’m assuming you mean the physics class at the college.

      • Agent SD 9:59 pm on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I’m hoping along with you, although truthfully not holding my breath

    • deartomysoul 2:33 pm on December 2, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Also, sidenote that I didn’t want to make into a new post: THE SNOW HAS STARTED ON THIS WEBSITE AGAIN! YAY! : D

    • paperclip123 5:21 am on December 3, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      very very VERY stressed about school, wishing i didn’t have friends because of friend drama, generally finding solace in the internet because I’m too afraid of working which is nice i suppose, but probably not very good. also need to choose my A levels by January.

      on a good note, my sister is getting back from university tomorrow and we’re going to miss tomorrow’s school day because we have some geography fieldwork to do. and listening to the hamilton soundtrack and mixtape pretty much non-stop (hahaha) because it’s SO GOOD.

      • Agent SD 9:58 pm on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        I’m sorry about your friend drama! 😦 That sounds like the worst.

        YAY FOR YOUR SISTER THOUGH! and yesssss Hamilton. My little sister loves Hamilton too–I got her a necklace that says “Rise up” for Christmas ^-^

    • Agent SD 10:48 pm on December 4, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’m getting better. I had a midterm last Tuesday, and I feel like I just sank into this weird depressive episode after it. Like, I was feeling pretty bad beforehand, but I had to stay focused because the test was insane. And then after I took it I just didn’t have any reason to be a productive member of society anymore. The world just feels so bleak right now. Everyone is going through so much pain, and I’m in pain, and I just can’t believe what’s happening to my country, and it’s triggered this huge identity crisis in me, too. So I spent about five days not being a productive member of society. I mean, that’s a bit hyperbolic. I still finished a paper that’s due at the end of the semester and did 75% of my last assignment due, which I’ll finish tomorrow, well before the Thursday deadline. And I did most of my holiday shopping. But it doesn’t feel like much. I did a lot of crying and a lot of not sleeping at night and taking ridiculously long naps to compensate for it and just felt pretty zombielike in general.

      But you know what? I’m still here. And I’m really so lucky to be where I am, for so many reasons. I’m surrounded by love and support, and I’ve cut all contact with my mother, and I’m doing well in college, and I feel like I’m progressing in my career, and I never would have imagined myself in this position. I feel like everything that happened in my past meant something. Like it was worth it that I survived, and like spending too much time studying in high school paid off. I feel like I’m in control. Even when I’m sad, it’s not debilitating. I’m doing my work, I’m taking care of my loved ones, and I’m moving forward. And I’m grateful to be where I am.

      • paperclip123 2:08 am on December 8, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Probably doesn’t mean much, but I’m proud of you for getting this far ❤

  • lem 3:15 pm on November 12, 2016 Permalink | Reply
    The best advice I can offer. If you aren’t American and still want to help, please make some donations (if you can afford it). The ACLU and the NRDC or Earth Justice are the things that are most likely to affect you outside of the US- the first is an organization of free lawyers working for the rights of individuals and groups whose constitutional rights are being hurt by the US government (including non-US citizens/residence; as a whole, they are the closest thing we have to a private non-profit that will go and stop a Trump dictatorship) and the latter two being environmental advocacy organizations, because a Trump presidency is predicted to have a terrible and irreversible effect on the environment.

    I am so so so sorry guys. I am so sorry.

    • Agent SD 12:15 am on November 13, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      The one good thing that comes from all of this is to see how much of our country is fighting back. So many peaceful protests. I encourage everyone to get involved if you can. I’m looking into more ways to get involved, but for now I want to pass this petition along to you guys:

    • Agent Snowbell 8:19 pm on November 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      As someone whose finances come exclusively from my parents, I’ll be encouraging them to cover the monetary part of this. Though I doubt they’ll need much encouragement.

      It isn’t your fault. It isn’t the fault of any one of us. I don’t know if there’s anything we could have done, even all of us put together. Regardless, I’m certainly sorry too; sorry on behalf of the country that I’ve lived in my whole life, but never really belonged in… and yet I never expected it was secretly such a train wreck. I guess that sort of illusion comes from living in a bubble. ,-:

      • lem 12:39 pm on November 16, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Yeah I mean. Here’s the thing, regarding that last sentence. I’ve lived here my whole life too, and I definitely haven’t felt that I belonged because I am queer, and because I am the only person in my family who was born here, but I have always felt that among all of the countries you could live in but not feel a sense of belonging in, this one would be the best one.

        I grew up in a supremely republican area, where our neighbors judged my family for being immigrants and my mom for having a job instead of staying at home with me like all other women there did. I say this, but at the same time, we fit in relatively well, considering- my parents are conservative people, socially, and they are politically moderate to democratic only because they are terrified of unintelligent people holding office and that is what they see in most Republicans. Most of the people in my hometown are the kind of republicans who call the GOP the party of Lincoln, and believe in such things as Tradition and Family Values and Tax Cuts for their greedy little selves, because that town has an average per-family annual income of $250k.

        I knew many of these people well, though I was at that point far too young to know that I am the kind of person that they disapprove of. I saw them as people, just as people with their heads too far up their respectable ass (okay if I use that word on this site?) to understand the struggles of others. In the GOP primaries, they voted Kasich. According to my childhood friends that live there, as Trump got the nomination, the normal talk of politics in the town stopped for a while because everyone was “scared” to announce their support for Trump, because that would be to acknowledge that their conservatism came not from a love of the constitution (Hillary would be the candidate for that), nor from a desire for a moderate, traditionally-focused, respectable America (Hillary would also be the candidate for that). Then, the wall broke. They voted overwhelmingly Trump.

        I’ve lived in a bubble since then- one of the most liberal cities in the US- but I suspected that that’s what it was. You know who voted for Trump? Not the loudly racist unemployed hillbillies of the Midwest, though the electoral college amplified their votes. Trump is conservatism without what it claims to be. He is a republican without respectability, without a love for the constitution. He is freedom for republicans to stop pretending that they care, so it makes sense that he would get more support than any other republican of recent times.

  • paperclip123 4:55 am on November 9, 2016 Permalink | Reply  

    well.,., good luck to all of you american folks

    • Lily 8:46 am on November 9, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      that election totally threw me off. i wasn’t expecting him to win at all.
      honestly it’s filled me with a sense of dread and fear.

    • lem 9:06 pm on November 9, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      oh man. oh man oh man oh man. it’s been. terrible. i’ve been crying on and off. a large portion of people i know have. most of my friends are lgbt so it’s just been a lot of comforting each other. every woman or poc i see in the street looking sad, i get the urge to hug and ask how they’re holding up. none of these statements even capture what it’s really been like, because i’m trying not to fall back into feeling it. so many people are going to die. so many dreams are gone forever, including likely mine. so many things are going to be permanently hurt.

    • deartomysoul 8:19 pm on November 10, 2016 Permalink | Reply


    • Agent SD 1:46 pm on November 12, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      I’ve just been crying all week. I have no words. My whole college is grieving. Everyone is grieving. One horrendous person in this country is, well, to be expected. The fact that a little less than half of this nation (I HATE THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE) voted this thing in, this disgusting, juvenile, idiotic orange thing into office. I can’t comprehend it. I never really thought he had a chance. I am so deeply disappointed in this country.

      • lem 3:08 pm on November 12, 2016 Permalink | Reply

        Me too, Sarah, me too. Let’s talk tomorrow when I get through the massive pile of work I haven’t been able to do this school week.

    • Agent Snowbell 8:10 pm on November 15, 2016 Permalink | Reply

      Four years. Sweden. Unless, between now and then, I develop enough of a guilty conscience to feel like I need to dedicate my life to staying and fighting on this hell of a battlefield instead of fulfilling my childhood dreams.


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