Post Prompt 1/19/17: Did you make a New Year’s resolution? If not, do you have any goals or things you would like to improve on this year?

I’ve been trying to drink more water. I’m also trying to work on ways to be kinder to myself–especially after finals. Oh man. I don’t know why–all of my finals ended up being fine, but I ended up turning into this raging ball of stress and self-doubt and self-loathing. I’m gonna try to make sure that doesn’t happen again. In general I think I need to learn how to take more breaks. A weird thing I realized was that, at a certain point of studying, you know everything you’re going to know. The questions I miss on tests are always the questions that weren’t on the study guide. There’s no way of anticipating everything. Basically there comes a time where the extra studying isn’t making you learn the thing MORE, you’re just driving yourself crazy. And for a lot of classes, there’s always going to be something on the test that you don’t know, and all the studying in the world isn’t going to make you anticipate it. And no matter what I did, even though I was acing all of my tests, by the time the next one came around I would still panic and worry that I wasn’t doing enough. I want to figure out a less intense study schedule, know when I’m doing enough, probably do quite a bit more, and pause to breathe and eat cheese or whatever.

This was kind of a mess. I figured I’d post today because I’m not really doing anything. Dread over tomorrow finally hit me. I’m trying to pull myself out of the dread abyss. Gonna look at cats.

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